I’m On Vacation But I’m Still At Home And It’s Not Relaxing

My oldest 3 children are at various grandparents’ homes.  They all left on Tuesday and are coming home tomorrow.  So, it’s just been C and I.  Sounds fun and easy, right?!

No.

C is kind of a monster right now.  He’s 2.5.  I’ve always known he was a driven child, but yesterday, I found a list of goals, seemingly written in order from least to most important, stashed away in the Notes app on G’s iPod.  Here it is, verbatim.

Things I Want To Do Today

10.  Scowl.
9.  Ask for food but never act like I want the food I’m offered.
8.  Move as much as possible.
7.  Plot and execute escape plans.  Must,  Run.  In.  Street.
6.  Say “Nuh uh”, “No you’re not”, “No” and “*eeeeeeeeyyyyyyeeeeeeerrh*” as many times as I can.
5.  Crap in my diaper at least 4 times.
4.  Try to avoid the After-Lunch Rejuvenation Period at all costs.  Throw self onto floor and go limp, if necessary.
3.  Put more stamps on my arm.  My sleeve is almost complete.
2.  Achieve maximum milk consumption.  Mother is hoarding it all for her coffee, but before her coffee, she is weak and will give me more than just one cup.
1.  Plot and execute escape plans.  Must.  Find.  Neighborhood.  Black.  Cat.

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2 thoughts on “I’m On Vacation But I’m Still At Home And It’s Not Relaxing

  1. Kristen Mennen says:

    Did G write this himself? He is super-smart and clever and whitty and funny, if he did!

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