A Colorblind Person’s Favorite Color

I know. It’s the weirdest thing you’ve ever heard in your whole life. How can a person who is colorblind have a favorite color? We do, though. At least I do. I’ve recently noticed that the way in which my favorite color has changed over the years could actually tell a person a lot about me. So, I’ll tell you today about my favorite colors. Maybe you’ll learn something you didn’t know.

One Sunday when i was a very little girl, my Sunday school teacher, America, pulled my mom aside after church and told her she was concerned for the my heart because I had told her that my favorite color was black. It’s not my favorite color anymore, but I know why I loved it then. In a world where everything is too bright and I was photophobic, black was a very comfortable place to land. Not all colorblind people are sensitive to light like I am. Colorblindness is just a symptom of a bigger disorder, achromatopsia; so is photosensitivity. The sun, the lights over the vanity in the bathroom and fluorescent lights in the grocery store all made my eyes hurt. It’s not the same as when someone has a migraine. I didn’t want to throw up or hold my head. I wanted to hide. I couldn’t see and it cause a panic that I buried inside myself for some reason. So, I’m sure that my first coping mechanism for this was to find something black and look at it. I still use that one.
When I was a little older, I liked yellow. It made me feel happy. I’ve heard it described as a happy color by people who can see it and wondered how I got that connection to it even if I couldn’t see it. That’s simple, really. The things that are yellow in a child’s world are all good things. Bananas, lemons, my favorite swimsuit, dandelions, corn, butter… Yeah, yellow is good. It’s still one I love a lot.
20130505-223935.jpg(© Hans Hillewaert / CC-BY-SA-3.0)
Through junior high, high school and my early 20s, I was a big fan of green. Why green? Because I was a rebel!! No, really. Everyone else liked pink, purple, some other color that is essentially just pink or purple, or blue. In junior high and high school, I liked green because I wanted to be different. In my 20s, I forgot why I’d decided I liked green and didn’t really feel like thinking about it any further. If you knew me then, this sounds about right. If you didn’t, this might lead you to assume that I was a rebel without a cause, which is about right. OR you would assume that if my idea of rebellion was to pick green over purple, then I was probably a loser, which was also about right.
Now, as a woman of 32.98, my favorite color is the color of all things that are good in the world. Brown. It’s the color of coffee, chocolate and a nice, healthy poop. Brown is the color of my sateen sheets and the duvet that houses my down comforter. My favorite seat is brown. My favorite ring is brown. My favorite bra, nail polish, shoes, and pet are all brown. Of course, it’s possible those things are my favorites because they’re brown. It’s a Which came first? sort of conundrum. But honestly, how can you look at that picture and think Meh? That’s one of the most beautiful things I could ever behold, and I mean that strictly from the point of visual appreciation, not as a chocolate lover.
Then there’s paprika. Every time I use this spice, I literally pause in the middle of my cooking and stare at it. I’m always sort of floored. I cann’t believe that something found in nature is that gorgeous color. Something I put in my food. It’s wasted in my digestive tract. I want to sprinkle it all over a canvas and frame it.
But, I’m colorblind, so you can make of this what you will. You could see this as nonsense written by someone who has no idea what they’re even saying, or is it possible that there’s a whole perspective that you never even imagined existed?

What’s your favorite color?

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