My Favorite Place To Leave A Fart Cloud

I hope that all of you who are reading this have a comfortable home. I hope that no matter what your situation – between homes in a parent’s basement, McMansion, smelly dorm room, cardboard box – that there is a place in your home that you love more than all the other spots.

Our house is cramped. I share 1,000 sq ft with 5 other humans and 4 rats (Rats on purpose in cages, not “Oh, hey! Whoops! We have some rats, I guess.”) There are 2 people in each bedroom and there is one bathroom. The yard is small, the kitchen is ugly, but we are fortunate.

I hardly ever am physically alone. There’s always someone in the same room as me. If, by some chance, I can escape and actually be in a room alone, someone is talking to me through a door.

So, since I don’t have an actual sanctuary, I’ve had to make the best of what I do have and find a way to be relaxed and happy while sharing space with other people.

Meet my favorite spot.


If I was going to saturate a cushion with the smell of my own poop bubbles, this is the one I’d choose. Everything about it is perfect.

  • It’s soft yet has appropriate back support.
  • It’s beside a window, which I can open.
  • It’s by a register, which keeps me warm or cool, depending on the season.
  • I can see out the window to either watch my own kids or shake my fist at the kids from the local high school who walk in my yard.
  • It’s by my favorite lamp.
  • The Husband usually won’t choose to sit by me here, therefore I don’t have to feel bad about hogging the whole thing.

I love this spot. I have big plans to mold this love seat into the exact shape and smell of my body. It won’t be pretty, but it’ll be so, SO perfect!


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2 thoughts on “My Favorite Place To Leave A Fart Cloud

  1. Alison says:

    Is that a snuggie wrapped around you to hold in the Eau de Heidi when it passes?!
    Anyway, the point is, I heart my snuggies. I wish I had more. Maybe I can make some???

  2. Heidi says:

    You know I have to at least try to dilute it somehow. Let me know if you DO make some. I’ll probably want to buy one. Notice I didn’t say “try to make one myself”.

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