Top 4 Gross Things I Know

I mean, some knowledge shouldn’t be kept to myself. What a waste that would be! Plus, you know you want to know. Don’t act like I’m the weird one here who knows gross things and is talking about them on the interwebs. Yeah, you’re still reading.

Still.

Even NOW!

1. On hog farms, pigs’ tails are removed when they’re babies…so that other pigs don’t EAT THEM!

Yeah. That’s a real thing. Pigs will eat each others’ tails if presented with the opportunity to do so. Oh, I’m sure they’re delicious! If you got all the little, coarse pig hairs off of those things, they probably taste like Pork Rinds. Cartilage-y, sinewy Pork Rinds. Mmmmmm. After a little more research, I learned that its likely that pigs do this because they’re stressed due to crowded living conditions. US Amerrcans like pork, m’kay! Then, they get infected and then we have sepsis in our pork chops. And no one – NO ONE – like a septic pork chop.

2. For every 30 pounds a man is overweight, he loses an inches of penis.

No, it doesn’t fall off. It gets swallowed up by the fat around it. I’ll just do some math for you. The average male has 6″ of penis when erect. If this average man were 180 pounds overweight, he would be left with something that resembled a belly button. You’ve just pictured it and I’m sorry about that. Let this be a cautionary tale.

3. They put labels around the tops of ketchup bottles so you can’t see al the bug parts in the ketchup.

Ketchup is made from tomatoes. Tomatoes are commonly the home to those disgusting, green, spiny tomato worms. Tomatoes go to Heinz factory. Heinz factory mashes tomatoes that contain green worms. Ketchup is made from said tomatoes. Aforementioned green worm parts float to the top of the ketchup bottles while on the store shelves, and would be completely visible if not for the bottleneck label.

4. The average person who eat fast food on a regular basis will consume about 12 pubic hairs per year.

What else do you want me to say about this? Is there any way I can make it funny? Do you think eating pubes is funny? DO YOU?!

There. I know gross things. Happy Monday.

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9 thoughts on “Top 4 Gross Things I Know

  1. Amber says:

    Pigs are bad. Once they get a taste for blood they just keep eating. Yes, I am an animal scientist. It’s gross. My husband is an entomologist and I have known about the ketchup bottle label for YEARS!!! We tell everyone we know just to gross them out. The USDA also has a certain limit of insect parts in any given food. The worst? Raisins. Sometimes those crunchy chunks are insect parts. Yummy!

    Just so you know, I have had my arm up so many cows I can’t even count. Now you have a great mental image šŸ™‚

    • Heidi says:

      Wow. Raisins? I know what it feels like to get a crunchy raisin bit. This doesn’t gross me out a TON, but I’m not totally fond of it either.

  2. Alison says:

    I knew about the penis thing. The others are kinda gross…but it takes a lot to really gross me out. Okay, the pubic hair about made me vomit. That, THAT grosses me out!!!

  3. Sarah says:

    I hope I can finish typing my comment before my body begins trying to purge itself from 32 years of ketchup consumption. Thanks. This officially trumps almost everything you’ve ever told me about childbirth and its horrible aftermath. On the plus side, I was toying with the idea of making my own ketchup (my mom did it for years when I was a kid), and this is WAY more motivating than a vague desire to avoid corn syrup and pesticide residue.

    • Heidi says:

      Really? Are you SURE? Because I could write a whole different post on Gross Things I Know About Childbirth. Ooooo! Stay tuned for THAT!

  4. rawginger says:

    Isn’t there a scene in a movie where someone eats a hamburger that has pubes on it? I’m sure there is. And I think it was (supposed to be) funny.

    Cogito Ergo Sum, eating pubes is funny.

    Semi-related fun fact: Adding a bit of latin to anything makes you sound all smart and whatnot. Even when you’re writing about eating pubes.

    • Heidi says:

      I remember a kid in my speech class in high school putting a handful of pubes on our teacher’s desk to be mean. I don’t remember a movie, though.

      For the record, it made her cry.

      • rawginger says:

        For the record, everything made her cry. And it was her fault for being an easy target. My students would never do that to me, because they know I would bring a fiery vengeance upon them–not tears.

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