Stealing my JOY!

I find joy in the little things.  Honestly.  I love having time alone in my bedroom with a book, new socks and bath bombs.  There’s one thing in particular though that is the highlight of my day, every day, no matter what.

Cleaning my ears with a Q Tip.

Guuuuuuuuuh.  It’s better than sex.  It’s better than SLEEP!  Sticking that little piece of plastic and cotton so very near to my tender earbits gives me pleasure that can’t be matched by anything else on this earth.  I go into a state of semi-consciousness.  I literally have to sit down to do it because my legs can’t be trusted to hold myself vertical.   Sometimes, I even do it twice. No, that’s a lie.  I do it twice every time.  Sometimes I do it 3 times.  So what?

So, could someone explain to me why someone would try to rob me of that?  Is there any reason why we need an alternative to this blissful form of hygiene   Yes, I’ve heard that it pushes wax further down into the ear canal and can cause blockage and infections and there’s a possibility one can puncture one’s own ear drum and go deaf.  BAH!  I’d rather have an ear infection every day for the rest of my life than not use Q Tips.  As for safety, I laugh in the face of safety!  I’m a rebel!  SCREW YOU, PEOPLE OF ALL NATIONS!  REAL REBELS USE Q TIPS!!!


Now, it’s time that I present to you the new face of evil in this world.  This seemingly harmless device could ruin my life all on it’s own.  I feel I can no longer hide behind my fear of exposing the truth.  It’s time the wool is lifted from your eyes.

I give you…

The WaxVac.

Please click the link.  Please.  Watch the commercial if you haven’t seen it.  I detest it more than other things I detest like loud gum chewers and man-feet.

Here’s the good news.  I’ve actually researched this product and SHOCKINGLY it’s a total scam and doesn’t work.

You’re welcome!

***Boring Blog-related Info***

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One thought on “Stealing my JOY!

  1. Sarah says:

    I saw a commercial for that nightmare just last night. I don’t know what was worse, the over-the-top acting from the people who behaved like they were cleaning their ears with steel wool instead of cotton, or the idea of sticking a vacuum into my ear, because there’s nothing that could go wrong with that…

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